Filing jointly for divorce might sound like the easier way forward and it can be — but not always. Around 25 per cent of divorce applications in England and Wales are made jointly which says something about how many couples are taking this route.
So what do you need to really be looking for?
Contents
In This Guide
- The Communication Mess (It Is, Yes)
- Paperwork Issues (More Common Than You May Think)
- Money Talk Troubles
- Timeline Tangles
- Emotional Roadblocks
- Legal Help Headaches
- After-Filing Surprises
The Communication Mess
Listen, here’s a simple thing that sounds like it should be common sense but wrecks so many couples — keeping those communication lines open. The process of getting a divorce generally lasts something like 7 months, and if everything goes without a hitch. But what happens when communication fails? Well, that’s when things start to get… interesting.
You’d be amazed at how many couples say, “Hey, we’re filing together, so we don’t really need to discuss too much”. Wrong. So wrong.
Imagine it like this – you are essentially untangling years of cohabitive life. That’s not exactly a straightforward process.
Communication Red Flags You Should Never Ignore:
- Radio silence (never a good sign)
- Passive-aggressive emails (we’ve all been there)
- Shying away from very significant conversations
- Making assumptions without really checking
- Playing games via telephone through lawyers
The Paperwork Maze
Here’s where it can get messy. Court fees can cost on average £550, so you would want to make sure you get the paperwork right the first time. Trust me on this one.
What usually goes wrong? Well…
Paperwork Faux Pas:
- Incomplete forms (for the love of god, fill them out!)
- Missing signatures (look, folks, double-check)
- Information mismatch in documents (you need coordination)
- Mistakes with the fees (it happens more than you realize)
And every one of these mistakes, if you are repeating them, could easily add weeks or months to your schedule. Not fun.
Money Talk Troubles
Now this is where it gets really interesting. Financial disclosure is more than writing down your bank balance and moving on (though that sure would be easy).
You’ve got to think about:
Assets and Properties
- That house you purchased together
- The cars waiting in the driveway
- Any rental properties (even that tiny studio flat!)
- Those savings accounts you might have forgotten about
- That stack of rare vinyl records (hey, they may be worth something)
Pensions and Investments
- Pensions from work (current and past jobs)
- Private investments
- Those stocks you purchased long ago
- Savings bonds
- That cryptocurrency you dabbled in
And in case you’re thinking of rushing through this bit? DON’T.
Timeline Tangles
Okay, let’s talk about timing. Because, weirdly, divorce has a rhythm to it.
Here’s what tends to confuse people:
The Waiting Game
- Cool-down periods (yes, they will need to be mandated)
- Processing times for these documents (not as fast as you’d like)
- Court backlogs (they’re real)
- Note: Holiday closures (always at the worst times)
- Response deadlines (set your reminders!)
The Emotional Rollercoaster
Let’s be clear — even the best divorce has its bad moments. One day you think you are perfectly alright, the next day… BAM! It’s that emotions just hit you out of the blue.
Common emotional slip-ups:
- Deciding things when you’re angry (a bad idea, always)
- Saying yes to things just to “get it over with”
- Making decisions based on guilt
- Politics — trying to “win” (spoiler alert: nobody wins)
Legal Help Hiccups
Here’s a not-so-fun fact: the idea that you can handle everything yourself or share a lawyer? Yeah, that’s not typically the best strategy.
Why? Well…
- You need your own legal advice (no joke)
- Shared lawyers = conflict of interest (its just basic math)
- Complex assets need to be closely reviewed
- It’s about protecting your individual rights
After-Filing Surprises
When everything is all clear and settled… surprise! There’s more.
Watch out for:
- Forgotten arrangements
- Last-minute financial changes
- Overlooked paperwork updates
- Tax considerations (they’ll get you every time)
- Delayed implementations
The Solution? Check every detail and make sure every single ‘i’ is dotted and ‘t’ is crossed.
Making It Work
Yes, so here’s the thing — joint divorce applications can be complex, but they are not impossible. The key is vigilance, organization, and (I hate to say it) being a tad paranoid about the details.
Remember:
- Talk (even when you don’t want to)
- Record everything (and I mean everything)
- Find a good lawyer (seriously, do not skimp on this)
- Don’t rush the money stuff
- Stick to those deadlines
- Emotions should not drive the process
- Make duplicates of EVERYTHING (yeah, I said it two times)
Finessing Your Joint Application
Do you want to know what is so nice about joint divorces? They can actually be such a positive way to tie up a marriage (I know, that sounds ridiculous). But here’s the thing: They’re most effective when both sides remember they’re on the same team, at least in this process.
Here are some actionable tips that can help you:
Keeping Things Civil
- Communicate using “we” statements instead of pointing fingers
- Focus on facts and not on emotions when talking about details
- Pause when things get heated (believe me, they will)
- Keep in mind this is a business transaction
- Don’t be a people pleaser
Document Organization Tips
Gosh, if I had a penny for every time paperwork turmoil made everything wrong — well, have you ever heard that cliché: “Paperwork is your best friend?”
Try this system:
- Make a shared folder (but separate your personal documents)
- Store all the files with a standard naming convention
- Log all submitted documents
- Create a new folder for all mail communications
- Make copies of everything
Financial Planning Ahead
Here is something that keeps getting forgotten — beyond divorce. As you’re going through the application, think for a moment about:
Future Considerations:
- Setting up new bank accounts
- Revamping your finances as a single person
- Planning for stand-alone insurance policies
- The future of long term investing
- Future housing needs
Communication Strategies
Do you want to know what actually helps? A strong communication plan. Yes, I know that sounds corporate-y, but hear me out on this.
Consider setting up:
- Check in regularly via calls or emails
- A calendar to pool deadlines together
- Agree on response times to questions
- A tracking system for agreements
And by the way — it’s way easier to get it right the first time than fix it later. Because no one wants to dance this dance twice. Just keep reminding yourself: that this is temporary, and that there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
The most important thing? Have patience with the process, and yourself.
